As we continue on with Rebbe Nachman's story of the Wise Man and the Simple Man, the Wise Man is on his way home. His trip is miserable. As he was so much smarter than any of his traveling companions, he had no one with whom to speak on the way. Every time he stopped for the night his accommodations were miserable. His wisdom wasn't doing him any good, it was destroying his life!
His haughtiness made him look down on others to the point where he lacked the ability to relate socially with others. In order to justify this attitude he constantly found fault with the efforts and accomplishments of all those around him. It verified his knowledge that he was so much wiser. After all, if he was in charge none of those mistakes would be made.
Presumably his negative attitude would have caused him to be constantly angry, as is frequently the style of negative people. "This meal is too hot! This dish hasn't got enough salt. Why did they design this hotel room in this manner, and fool knows that..."
After reading all this it was time for some serious soul searching. First for the good (relatively speaking) part. I certainly have a natural tendency to be critical and negative. There have been times in my life when I have looked at everything (and I mean everything) around me and found fault in all of it. I then let those I deemed responsible know very clearly how I felt about it, in pretty rude and angry terminology. Thank God I have managed to a large extent to move beyond that. Although I can at times still be negative, it is not as much as it was, and I do not react with the old vehemence.
I have accomplished this by really trying to work on what is true humility. I have looked at my own faults and realized that I am far from perfect. I expect others to tolerate my faults; I should tolerate theirs. God grants me life and much good, despite my faults and wrongdoings and we are mandated to emulate Him.
Beyond that, I have worked to focus on the good in things and not on the negative. I try to have the presence of mind to bite my tongue from presenting my initial reaction and to seek to find something good to say.
Rabbi Aroush offers another, very powerful, way of viewing negative situations which I find helpful and will elaborate upon in my next posting.
As far as the relating to others goes, that is also an area in which I am very lacking. I have always had a certain shyness and a difficulty making friends, especially when meeting a total stranger, and don't easily socialize and make small talk. In the past I always chalked it up to shyness, whatever that means.
More recently I have been trying to understand the same point Rabbi Aroush makes here. I need to understand within myself what aspect of this shyness is really based in a haughtiness which allows me to feel I cannot relate to others whom I perceive as not being my intellectual equals. As I mentioned in a previous post, attitudes like this are really rooted in a lack of self-esteem.
Still lots of work to do.
His haughtiness made him look down on others to the point where he lacked the ability to relate socially with others. In order to justify this attitude he constantly found fault with the efforts and accomplishments of all those around him. It verified his knowledge that he was so much wiser. After all, if he was in charge none of those mistakes would be made.
Presumably his negative attitude would have caused him to be constantly angry, as is frequently the style of negative people. "This meal is too hot! This dish hasn't got enough salt. Why did they design this hotel room in this manner, and fool knows that..."
After reading all this it was time for some serious soul searching. First for the good (relatively speaking) part. I certainly have a natural tendency to be critical and negative. There have been times in my life when I have looked at everything (and I mean everything) around me and found fault in all of it. I then let those I deemed responsible know very clearly how I felt about it, in pretty rude and angry terminology. Thank God I have managed to a large extent to move beyond that. Although I can at times still be negative, it is not as much as it was, and I do not react with the old vehemence.
I have accomplished this by really trying to work on what is true humility. I have looked at my own faults and realized that I am far from perfect. I expect others to tolerate my faults; I should tolerate theirs. God grants me life and much good, despite my faults and wrongdoings and we are mandated to emulate Him.
Beyond that, I have worked to focus on the good in things and not on the negative. I try to have the presence of mind to bite my tongue from presenting my initial reaction and to seek to find something good to say.
Rabbi Aroush offers another, very powerful, way of viewing negative situations which I find helpful and will elaborate upon in my next posting.
As far as the relating to others goes, that is also an area in which I am very lacking. I have always had a certain shyness and a difficulty making friends, especially when meeting a total stranger, and don't easily socialize and make small talk. In the past I always chalked it up to shyness, whatever that means.
More recently I have been trying to understand the same point Rabbi Aroush makes here. I need to understand within myself what aspect of this shyness is really based in a haughtiness which allows me to feel I cannot relate to others whom I perceive as not being my intellectual equals. As I mentioned in a previous post, attitudes like this are really rooted in a lack of self-esteem.
Still lots of work to do.
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