Back to the Simple Man and the Wise Man

Rebbe Nachman goes on to tell how the Wise Man was given by the king a precious diamond to shape. He made a slight error as he was working on it. It created a flaw that no one other than he would ever be aware off. But he was beside himself. He could not bear the fact that he had made a mistake. He was less than perfect.

Rabbi Aroush contrasts this with the attitude of the Simple Man who was happy no matter what misfortune befell him, or what mistakes he had made. If the Simple Man's joy at all times was because he understood that all the happened to him was the will of Hashem, then it stands to reason that the lack of joy for the Wise Man was because he did not believe that what happened to him was the will of Hashem. He thought that being perfect was something over which he had control. Hashem was sending him messages to remind him that no one is perfect. As long as he thought he was, or could be, Hashem was going to show him in both his personal and professional life, that he wasn't.

"What good is all my wisdom," asked the Wise Man, "if I still make mistakes!" Here comes the self-recrimination. he is beating himself up because of his own haughtiness and lacks the ability to forgive himself at all. He has the ability to be perfect. He made a mistake. It is his fault that he erred. Why wasn't he successful?

He is castigating himself because he refuses to recognize that he is not the master of any of these things.

Making it Real

When I was a teenager I struggled with my belief system. Although I had been raised Orthodox and had spent all my life attending Orthodox schools and was very familiar with the basic tents of Orthodox belief, I had never internalized them to make them truly mine. They were superficial at best. That changed, as I have written before, when some girls approached me and asked me challenging questions about my belief system. After successfully answering all their challenges I realized that if I truly believed in what I was saying then it was incumbent upon me to make serious changes in how I was living my life. I did so; a process that continues to this day.

Now I face another great personal challenge, and I am daily put to the test as to how "real" my beliefs are. My family is going through a terribly difficult financial crisis about which I have written previously. It seems that almost daily my situation gets worse. My paycheck from a part time job cut substantially over the past few months, as careful as we try to be, checks are bouncing causing even more money to disappear. Serious concerns about malnutrition in the children. Nervous every time the phone rings that it is someone else, a bill collector, a school, a lender, who wants to be paid money we don't have. Realizing today that the car that I have been pushing finally cannot go any further without some money being put into it - money that simply doesn't exist. Following job lead after job lead and nothing coming. Dealing with the frustrations of those leads that look promising and fail to pan out for one reason or another. Worries about inability to pay rent and what that could mean.

And the bottom line question: how do I deal with this from a religious perspective? Can I go through a trial as frightening and painful as this and maintain my belief system? Do I really trust in God? Do I really believe that all this is for the best?

Those of you who have read my blog in the past are aware that I have tried to strengthen my belief muscles by engaging in a serious study of some of Rabbi Aroush's works. I have encouraged some of you personally to read them for your own growth or to deal with personal struggles.

Sometimes I feel that I know what Iyov (Job) went through trying to understand with his finite human mind what it was that God wanted from him. Why is God giving me this challenge? Is it a punishment? Is it a challenge I need to overcome in order to bring about some tikkun (rectification)? In that case God, can you please make it clear to me what it is that I need to rectify and how. And give me the ability to do so. Are my prayers for such help and turning to God and letting him know that I know of nothing more to do going to bring about the response I think I need? Will His seeing all the efforts we are expending to change our situation be considered by Him to be sufficient sweat of our brows that we receive the bread we need?

Will I end up embittered and depressed, broken and morose if my situation doesn't change soon? I have striven my entire life to never allow any situation, difficult as it may be to leave me bitter. Will I fail this test?

Will all my efforts at building my emunah stand me in good stead and prove they are real? Or will I fail and show that I have not yet made it real for me.

The Happy Simple Man

Everyone made fun of the Simple Man. They all indulged in their lust for fun making by taking it out on him.

What was he doing wrong that they treated him in this manner? He was not acting in a way that affected anyone else negatively. He was not running around town screaming like a lunatic. He was not harming anyone else's property! He only looked strange to them because he was always happy, and the other people could not comprehend his joy.

Too often we find an excuse to ridicule others who are really guilty of nothing other than being different. That difference bothers us (it is really we who need the psychological help to deal with that) and we respond with ridicule and scorn.

Mark down another area in which I have had to work hard for a long time. Every time I think of this topic I am reminded of a boy who went to high school with me; he was really weird. And I made sure he knew that was my opinion of him. I get so ashamed of my behavior back then whenever I think about it. Even more so when the reality is that our scorn is really due to an inner jealousy of the fact that someone else has found peace in a way that we have not merited to find.

Approval

Rebbe Nachman writes that one of the worst ailments a person can have is that of constantly worrying what others are thinking of you. It leads to a person conducting his life not on the basis of his understanding of right and wrong, but based on his perception of how others will view his behavior. Rebbe Nachman points out that one who has this issue can't possibly pray in a synagogue. Rather than focusing on the words, and on connecting to God, he will worry how others are viewing him as he prayers. He will begin to do the motions of looking as if he is fervently praying, rather than actually doing so.

This is something of which I have been very guilty of in the past. I feel as if he is speaking directly to me, even though I know I have moved beyond this. I recall vividly as a kid stretching out my Shemoneh Esray in order to give people the impression I was intently into my prayers. It affected other areas of my life. There were times when I was uncomfortable walking through a crowd as I was sure everyone was staring at me and watching me walk.

Truly getting comfortable in my own skin has been a lengthy and ongoing process. A lot of it has to do with learning about the love of Hashem for me, and drawing on works such as Rabbi Aroush's seforim.

The Difference

Why is it that in Rebbe Nachman's story the Wise Man with all of his wisdom ended up floundering his whole life, while the Simple Man, despite all of his intellectual shortcomings, ended up so successful? The Wise Man would seem to have had a much easier path to travel to success. The path of the Simple man, by contrast, was strewn from the start with difficult obstacles!

The answer is really very simple. For all his wisdom, the Wise Man lost his faith. Seeing his great success, he took all the credit for himself, and forgot about the hand of God in his greatness. In his hubris he lost his relationship with God.

Unlike the Wise Man, hubris was not an option for the Simple Man. However, he could have easily fallen into despair, a malady as bad, if not worse. Instead he made a conscious decision to remain strong in his faith despite all the travails he had to endure. These decisions need to be made prior to a person heading down the path to corruption. Originally, they each had fine attitudes. It was when each saw how their life was going that they had to face the choice. Was it to be haughtiness or faith for the Wise Man; depression or faith for the Simple Man.

The Wise Man could only achieve faith by realizing he was far from perfect, despite the wondrous abilities he possessed. For the Simple Man, he needed the realization that he was the person God wanted him to be, in the situation he was meant to be in.

I see a bit of myself in all this. The Wise Man that is (is that haughtiness?). How much of what I accomplished so far in my life, did I attribute deep within myself to myself, and how much do I truly give to God?

Back to the Simple Man

I want to return, after a bit of a hiatus, to a continued discussion of Rebbe Namchman's story of the Simple Man and the Smart Man.
When he created the hideous triangular shoe, and his wife pointed out to him that it was not of the same quality and that of other cobblers, nor did it fetch the same price, the cobbler replied "That is what he does. This is what I do." Rabbi Aroush devotes a large portion of his interpretation of this story to explaining just these words. Before our hiatus we had discussed a bit of that explanation. Let's continue now...
This concept is meant to instill within us that each person has a specific direction from God that is appropriate for himself, and himself alone. Since the time of Creation no two people have been identical in this respect. Each person, and for each person each day, has a different task as to what must be accomplished. No one truly knows where he is up to in a particular task, or in a list of tasks.
This is why we cannot judge others. We have no clue at all as to the challenges others face, or what it is they are meant to be accomplishing.Remain focused on yourself, and yourself alone. Do not allow yourself to be thrown off either by other's successes or their failures, they have no bearing on you. Focus on your own task.
"The whole world was created for me." The whole world is being directed by God for you to achieve your task. Sometimes to reward you for a job well done, sometimes to prod you along.

Internal Struggle

I have been struggling with not becoming depressed over the past few days as my family's financial situation has been quite precarious. I have been looking for a job, tried to start a business; nothing seems to be working. I have been turning to Tehilim (Psalms) for some solace and direction. At the moment, I have been finding Psalm 51 to be meaningful to myself.

I can relate to King David's struggles as he looks to find forgiveness for his faults, and not be be rejected by God. I find comfort in that I am not the only one who has feared rejection.

In verse 12 he says לב טהור ברא לי אלקים ורוח נכון חדש בקרבי. A pure heart create for me, O Lord, and a proper spirit renew within me. He continues in the next verse by saying אל תשליכני מלפניך ורוח קדשך אל תקח ממני. Do not reject me from before You, and Your holy spirit do not take from me.

As I read that last verse, I thought to myself that in this respect I am certainly not like King David. After all, I don't have the holy spirit to begin with. Subsequently I was looking at a wonderful anthology of commentary and it quoted something very meaningful to me from Rabbi Nachman of Breslev.

He says that any time a person engages in a personal dialogue with God, that is רוח הקדש, the holy spirit, speaking within him. The entire book of Psalms is all the dialogue of King David, it is the holy spirit that emanated from within him. But it is not limited to King David. Each of us can find that holy spirit within.

He suggests beginning by contemplating God and one's desire to relate to God. The more one thinks about it and focuses on this topic the more it will fill his heart. After some time it will manifest itself in the person speaking to God with his own holy spirit.

Frustration

As we return now to the story of the Wise Man and the Simple Man, Rabbi Aroush is still struggling with understanding how the Simple Man can be happy with the hideous shoe he has created. Understanding that his efforts at making a shoe are a metaphor for our attempts to develop a relationship with God, he asks how it is that a person can be satisfied, even joyful as the story indicates, when his efforts are proving to fall short and produce hideous results.

He explains that it is imperative that as a person embarks on trying to develop his relationship with God that he has two thoughts in mind:

1. It is imperative that I develop a relationship with my Creator.


2. I will be joyful no matter what the result is.

One who becomes upset when his desires are not fulfilled is, in reality, only exhibiting the fullness of his own ego. He isn't living with reality; only God can determine who and when a relationship is developed. The frustration a person feels at his perceived lack of success comes from a feeling that he, the person, is the one who determines the outcome.

Rags Riches

Rebbe Nachman's story continues with a shift to the life of the Simple Man who only had one old tattered coat. Despite that, when he had to go out, he did so with complete joy and did not allow himself to be concerned with what others might think of his attire.

Rabbi Aroush says that this shows us how genuine his joy was. This was because his joy was predicated on his understanding that whatever he had it was because God willed it to be so. His joy did not depend on the approval of other people. He did not get caught up in "keeping up with the Joneses." Even when other could see that he was lacking it didn't bother him.

Real inner joy can only come when someone doesn't care if others are singing his praises or if they are ridiculing him. Living with Emunah means living with God, not with people. If people think something is not good, does that make it not good?!! Joy that is dependant on other's approval is merely superficial. The moment the person is open to criticism or ridicule he will fall apart.

Once again he has hit me where it counts; this issue has been a real challenge for me for many years. I couldn't possibly begin to count the number of times I have worried about the approval of others, rather than only concerning myself with the approval of God. How many times have I done things, or not done things, because I was concerned about the approval of other people?

I still have a long was to go to overcome this tendency, but the more I place my focus on God, and the less on other people's concerns, the closer I get to this ideal of happiness.

Computer Games

Have you ever played one of those computer games in which you are meandering about a computer generated world? As you go about your business every object you pass has a purpose. The programmers put the objects where they are for a definitive reason. Some might give you "life" or ammunition just by coming into contact with them; others are obstacles or opponents whom you much overcome in order to gain points or to get to the next level. We can choose to ignore these obstacles and opportunities, but then we are missing the point of the game.
Life is the same way, explains Rabbi Aroush, when we see things in the path of our life we often are tempted to view them as obstacles or irrelevancies. We ignore those things that can bring us increased life, because we don't see the benefit clearly. We get annoyed and angry at those things which oppose us as we feel that they are interfering with our lives.
If we would believe that everything that comes across our path is there for a reason - the reason being to help us achieve our purpose in life - then we would view each such encounter as an opportunity, not a nuisance. Kabbalistic thought teaches us that everything in existence has sparks of holiness (Nitzotzos Kedusha) trapped within it. Interacting with these things in the right time, place and manner, gives us the ability to free that holiness and add the sparks (so to speak) to our point total. Often it can be a difficult challenge, and we might need to try more than once. But when we are done, it is on to the next level.

Oh Lord It's Hard to be Haughty

As we continue on with Rebbe Nachman's story of the Wise Man and the Simple Man, the Wise Man is on his way home. His trip is miserable. As he was so much smarter than any of his traveling companions, he had no one with whom to speak on the way. Every time he stopped for the night his accommodations were miserable. His wisdom wasn't doing him any good, it was destroying his life!
His haughtiness made him look down on others to the point where he lacked the ability to relate socially with others. In order to justify this attitude he constantly found fault with the efforts and accomplishments of all those around him. It verified his knowledge that he was so much wiser. After all, if he was in charge none of those mistakes would be made.
Presumably his negative attitude would have caused him to be constantly angry, as is frequently the style of negative people. "This meal is too hot! This dish hasn't got enough salt. Why did they design this hotel room in this manner, and fool knows that..."
After reading all this it was time for some serious soul searching. First for the good (relatively speaking) part. I certainly have a natural tendency to be critical and negative. There have been times in my life when I have looked at everything (and I mean everything) around me and found fault in all of it. I then let those I deemed responsible know very clearly how I felt about it, in pretty rude and angry terminology. Thank God I have managed to a large extent to move beyond that. Although I can at times still be negative, it is not as much as it was, and I do not react with the old vehemence.
I have accomplished this by really trying to work on what is true humility. I have looked at my own faults and realized that I am far from perfect. I expect others to tolerate my faults; I should tolerate theirs. God grants me life and much good, despite my faults and wrongdoings and we are mandated to emulate Him.
Beyond that, I have worked to focus on the good in things and not on the negative. I try to have the presence of mind to bite my tongue from presenting my initial reaction and to seek to find something good to say.
Rabbi Aroush offers another, very powerful, way of viewing negative situations which I find helpful and will elaborate upon in my next posting.
As far as the relating to others goes, that is also an area in which I am very lacking. I have always had a certain shyness and a difficulty making friends, especially when meeting a total stranger, and don't easily socialize and make small talk. In the past I always chalked it up to shyness, whatever that means.
More recently I have been trying to understand the same point Rabbi Aroush makes here. I need to understand within myself what aspect of this shyness is really based in a haughtiness which allows me to feel I cannot relate to others whom I perceive as not being my intellectual equals. As I mentioned in a previous post, attitudes like this are really rooted in a lack of self-esteem.
Still lots of work to do.

Black Hole

Sometimes I can get down; I can pretty much feel like giving up. It can take a lot out of me to keep pushing myself to go on despite all the obstacles that are before me. The Ishbitzer Rebbe suggests that this attitude is what the Torah is addressing when it writes about Chilul Hashem. Conventionally, this is understood to mean acting in a manner that desecrates the name of God, but he takes it one step further. He says that the word Chilul (חילול) shares the same Hebrew word as Chalal (חלל) a hole, or depression.

He explains that the root cause of giving up is the feeling that it is beyond God's ability to assist the person out of his predicament. The person lacks the ability at that time to find the light of God in his situation, and feels that God is absent.

In that sense the person ready to give up is saying that there is a hole, a void, where God is absent; whereas in truth, God is omnipotent. It is that attitude of there being a hole in God, so to speak, that the Torah is telling us is the root of depression and the ultimate desecration of God.

This is very much a Breslev type of approach wherein it is understood that being down and depressed is the greatest possible sin. I have seen that Rabbi Aruosh writes that the cause of frustration and depression is that the person feels that he is on his own and he needs to accomplish the task, and finds himself wanting. In truth any person doesn't have the tools needed to complete the task. Everyone needs God's help to accomplish. Getting out of the frustrated frame of mind requires the cognizance that it is God who will get the task done, and leaving it up to Him to do so. By bringing God back in, the void is filled, God is back, and the problems go away.